It turns out the world is flat and I sailed right off the edge of it. OK, not really, but it sure felt like it. I apologize for the long hiatus, but now I’m back in action!
It’s been an interesting journey over the last nine months. I went to Germany for the first time (which was amazing!), I went through a rough break-up (which was not amazing) and I unexpectedly changed jobs within the organization I work for. And in the midst of all this, my therapist moved across the country. Life has been a steep learning curve for me lately.
I’m having a tough time finding that sweet spot between taking time for oneself and not becoming completely isolated. Coming out of this particular relationship has felt like stepping out of a time capsule. A lot of the people I used to consider friends are gone, either lost in the break-up or hit the road sometime before. It was one of those relationships where you end up on island, completely separate from the life you had before, and at no point did I think it was healthy. I also thought it would get better, but, well that’s another story.
So I find myself desperately trying to rekindle old friendships or trying to figure out how to meet new people. I don’t like to drink very often, so going out to bars seems counterproductive. I do like geeky gaming events, but hell if meeting other geeks (especially as a woman) isn’t intimidating. I guess I’ll figure it out. Frankly, right now I’d just be happy to have enough energy to want to go out and do something besides sleep and go to work and do it all again.
Life is so damn messy. No wonder fiction is so appealing– where else does everything get wrapped up so neatly? Of course, neat or not, we have to find closure for ourselves, or else you just end up carrying it all with you and the past bleeds into your future. An ideal future is empty and meaningless–waiting to be filled.
Ah, well, the more philosophical I get, the more tired I know I am. Nothing profound this time around, but I’ll bring something more interesting for the next post.
Rest well, beauties.